New Years Eve. I knew something was different. That it was the start of something very new.
During the fall I had some wonderful partners enter my life. All of them.
Around the end of the year I had begun to work through some of the odd partitioning I had done in my brain when I was in my last LTR. With the habit of keeping romantic/emotional feelings separated and this notion that in order to succeed at improving myself, I had to somehow stay single.
While it is true, I have for the better part of the last ten years, bounced from monogamous relationship to monogamous relationship. My last one did open up somewhat. But it was restricted, particularly in that the possibility of polyamory was off the table. Which worked fine for what it was, but it did require a certain amount of distance. So in my connections with others, I built up some artificial walls to keep a certain amount of distance, thus avoiding any potential depth that may cause serious feelings to build.
So I was feeling that I had a bad serial monogamy streak and the solution was to stay single. But this began to break down around the holidays when I saw all of my partners in the weeks leading up to that busy family/friends break. I came back from that having been out with these two new partners only a couple of times each. But seeing them again, it really started to make me realize I had done some serious reflecting during the winter break and found that I could try relaxing my boundaries and see where things led. And that despite the connections being new (okay, not quite new with Esperanza), I felt something different with these two. It made my heart flutter to see them again.
So I had two midnight kisses on New Years. I didn’t know if it was indicative of anything with them at the time, but I knew it sure as hell marked the start of a new year and new possibilities.
I began to see these two more. Due to circumstances, I’ve seen one more than the other. So naturally things took on different paces, which was all good. Either way, I think I can pretty safely say I am exploring polyamory with both at this point. They both have other partners. And I’m good with that. Because my time with each has been fantastic.