So this started as a discussion with a friend yesterday and came up with another today. We’re all very frustrated with the bastardization of the term “friends with benefits”.
To me, the term evokes a friendship where you are actually friends, you talk, you hang out, you go places, grab food and drinks, etc. And oh yeah, sometimes you have fun and fuck. But the relationship revolves around a friendship and the fucking is just an occasional icing on the cake.
HOWEVER. It has been abused by people who use it interchangably with “fuck buddies” and “booty calls”. The problem is, fuck buddies, they may get along, but their relationship purely revolves around fucking. This is fine for certain circumstances, but is NOT friends with benefits and should not be treated as such. And booty calls gets into a depth of possibly one-sided and weird emotional or abusive crap that could be a note on its own.
But please people, can we have some honesty about what we call our arrangements? If you’re just hooking up, great, have fun, but don’t call it friends with benefits.
I, on the other hand, will seek people who understand the proper meaning of FRIENDS with benefits and see that as a positive and enjoyable arrangement.